Standing up again

Fall down seven times, stand up eight.

- Japanese proverb

I've fallen pretty hard this time, and it's taking a while to get back on my feet. Since I last posted I have been drifting along through each day, barely touching base with reality. I'm back on the medication, which I stopped taking last year in a misplaced spirit of optimism. It will be another week or so before it starts making a difference, since it needs to build up in the system. However, balancing the chemicals in the brain is only half the battle; I need to get some kind of drive back, a routine of some kind. A kick in the metaphorical pants.

To that end, I have taken up Holly Lisle's invitation to write a book with her. To write something every day, with no pressure, and to just keep going until the book is written. The suggested target is 250 words a day, and there is no deadline. Perfect for getting back into my "Mark and Ta'caal" project.

Time to get this book written! Baby steps, every day. It's frustrating to keep on falling down and having to start over, but the alternative is giving up completely, and I'm no quitter. I have bad patches - sometimes very long bad patches - but I'm not giving in to some silly fool bunch of symptoms.

Get up, and just keep on going until next time. Then get up again. There's more to life than M.E. - there's more to me than M.E!

Out and About - at last!

The last time I went out alone was Jan 30th, I got home just before snow started to fall. Since then, I've not been able to go out by myself - until today. I managed to get to the library and greengrocers (in that order. I have my priorities straight!) There were a few nasty moments along the road where patches of unmelted slush threatened to clog up the wheels of my powerchair, but I got there and back in one piece.

My friends have really helped out while I was snowed in. Aside from texts and phone calls, they also delivered my food shopping over the weekend. I have great friends, not only have they kept me from running out of supplies but they also took me to Bible meeting on Sunday. It did me a lot of good, not only by the spiritual food I got from the discussion but also by getting me out of my flat and into a room full of people.

While snowed in, I have been working at my writing. A lot of my time has been spent at Writing.com, aka WDC. My portfolio is here. I also have a blog at the same site, and have challenged myself to write something there every day.

Not being able to go out even when I felt well has been very frustrating. However, I've been catching up on my reading and practicing my guitar for the first time in months. Normally, I use my "feeling well" times to get things done in town. Having to spend that time indoors, I've been able to put it to good use. Maybe being snow-bound isn't so bad after all.

And about time too...

I came across this through Mitch Benn's blog. He said it made him happy, and I must say I agree.

Make sure you listen to the interview, the man is on his usual fine form.

Various stuff has happened, but I'm too busy to blog properly right now. Will give you a decent-length entry soon, promise.

I'm well enough to be busy! Small, careful cheers and gentle victory dancing!

Why do I bother?

Sometimes I wonder why I even keep this irregularly updated blog, when almost everything I want to say is being said better elsewhere. Especially here. I don't comment much on Giraffealicious's blog anymore, because all I can say is "yes, absolutely, you read my mind." Sometimes her stuff is so in line with what I was thinking as to be positively frightening!

I encourage you to read all she has written, because she is a very talented writer and if the world was fair she would have her own column in a magazine or newspaper. However, this is one entry I especially want to link, because if it ever comes true I want to hitch a ride with her: Is there a Doctor in the house?

Get a load of this!

Reinventing the Wheel

That's all I have to say right now. I've got a train to catch in a few hours, so I'm dashing 'round the flat doing all the "last minute" stuff. At five o'clock in the morning, yes I know. I'm just so organised!

More when I get back.

Kew

Yes, I'm still alive!

I've been without a computer or internet for some time, but here is a post I composed just before going offline. Enjoy. I'll be writing more soon. Soonish. Eventually, anyway.

I've been indulging in some kids' TV shows to while away the merry hour, and in so doing have found "The Secret Show". If you've never seen it, go over to BBC iPlayer and see if you can find an episode. Each episode is about 15 minutes' long, and bears watching at least three times - once for the jokes, once for the jokes you missed because you were still laughing at the last joke, and once for the hidden gags.

It reminds me of "Dangermouse" and "Duckula" and the like - made and aired ostensibly for kids, but loaded with puns and subtle references to amuse the parents. There are dozens of catch-phrases and running gags - the title of today's post is one of these. After every death-defying encounter, massive explosion or spectacular crash, the base boffin calls on the communicator, asking anxiously, "Are you still alive?" The answer is always an irate and exasperated, "Yes, I'm still alive!" I thought that since I hadn't posted anything for a while, I'd better reassure you* that I wasn't dead - just resting. And resting. And resting. And doing, overdoing and then ... resting. Again. My life is tedious, laborious and slow. Perhaps I should take Ford Prefect's advice and go mad. Oops, I forgot - too late.

This is a reference-laden entry, isn't it? Hallmarks of unoriginality abound - in the absence of my own words of wit and wisdom I shall use other people's.

Latest news on my MDS script - one game completed, one nearly completed and a third just started. The first game appeared to have a few technical problems, but no-one has complained about the script, so hoorah! If you would like to play it, go to the "My Dark Secret" website, join up as a player, then look for a game called "The Days of the Old School Yard". It's a level two game, so you may not be able to play it right away, but if you do join MDS and play through to level two then please let me know what you think of the script. Thank you.

Well, that's me knackered for now. I'm back to bed, to "rest". Ugh! You'd think that after living with M.E. for almost half my life, I'd be resigned to the necessity of going slow and being careful with myself. You'd think, wouldn't you? Never mind, eh?

See you whenever,

Groucho Kewryta :-[

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*you - that is to say those who read this blog. Always assuming anyone actually does .

Left, Write, Left

T...h...i...s ...p...o...s...t ...i...s ...b...e...i...n...g ...t...y...p...e...d ...v...e...r...y ...s...l...o...w...l...y, ...b...e...c...a...u...s...e ...m...y ...r...i...g...h...t ...h...a...n...d ...i...s ...s...t...r...a...p...p...e...d ...u...p ...a...n...d ...oh bother this. I'm actually quite good at typing with my left hand - I can even write left-handed if I have to. At school, my hands would often get tired and sore, so I learned to chop and change in order to let them take a rest one at a time. I could read it afterwards, but it was clear which hand had written which bit! I haven't written left-handed for a few years now - these days when I am tired I just take a break, or switch to typing - but I could probably still do it if the need arose.

But seriously, joking aside, the typing is not a problem. I normally use both hands, but I can get by with just the one for now. The real problem is the mouse - I just don't have the same level of control over fine detail with my non-dominant hand. I line up the cursor, then it moves while I'm trying to click, or worse, double-click a link. I've also noticed that I need to correct my posture every two minutes - using my left hand to cover the whole keyboard is making my body twist, and my back keeps slouching into a stoop because I'm looking at the keyboard the whole time, instead of just glancing at it now and then. Using my right hand made my hand hurt, but it looks as if not using it is taking a toll on the whole of the rest of my body! Curse M.E. and its even-handed approach - everything gets to take a turn down Pain Avenue. Today, our lucky winner is ... [drum roll] ... the tendons of the right hand! Come on down!

Well, that's enough moaning about me, and indeed ME. I take it that by now everyone who wants to see the last "Doctor Who" episode has seen it. If not, go to iPlayer NOW, you've only got a few more days. And don't read on - spoilers follow.

All gone? Sure? Alrighty then, I'm now talking only to those who have watched the episode. What did you think of it? On the whole, I liked it. It looks as though we will be seeing Mickey & Martha in the next series of Torchwood, Rose is all set to live happily ever after, and Sarah Jane will continue to have her Adventures. As for Donna - poor Donna, and poor Doctor too. He finally found a companion who could be just that - a companion. She was his equal in every way that mattered, and she's going to be a hard act to follow. When I heard that Catherine Tate was booked as the new companion, I didn't expect much. I never really liked her "stroppy teenager" act, and assumed (wrongly) that that was all CT could do. I've never been so pleased to be wrong - CT brought Donna alive in such a wonderful way - the character had such a great blend of vitality and vulnerability. I'm very sorry that there is no chance of her travelling again with the doctor, she is definitely my favourite companion since the new series started.

Slightly under-whelmed by the trailer for the Christmas episode. Cybermen again? I mean, I like the classic monsters as much as anyone, but there is more to the "Who" universe than Daleks & Cybermen. What about resurrecting the "Sea-Devils" theme? The Doctor has had three attempts at negotiating a peace between the survivors of the dinosaur age and the humans, and each attempt has been unsuccessful. Let the Doctor try again - fourth time lucky? Or maybe we could get to meet the Rutans? The Sontarans have made an appearance, so what about their age-old enemies? But no, it's Cybermen. Again. *sigh*

Never mind, it's too nice a day to fret about the short-comings of script writers. The sun is blazing, and the cats are snoozing in the garden. Yes, I'm at Mam's again. I don't have cats - or a garden for that matter. I'm going to go and sit in the sunshine and enjoy this weather while it lasts. The moggies definetly have the right idea.